Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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