Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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