Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
