He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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