this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
