we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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