Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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