Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
