I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
