But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
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I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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