You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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