You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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