Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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