I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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