shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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