so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
