so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
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I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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