I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
