her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
