Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
