i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
