Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
its liver damage thursday
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize