Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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