I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
