I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
