I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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