ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
