My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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