Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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