This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
