I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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