K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
