the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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