I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
