He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
