i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
