guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
