You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You pole danced in your parka.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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