you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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