I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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