I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
