my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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