It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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