at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
