My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
