im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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