Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
