Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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