were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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