Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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