he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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