yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
