Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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