Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
