i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
