god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
