im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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